Dealing with Ugly

If you can't be rich, be beautiful instead. It's a twisted motto that helps me feel good about myself. Beauty is more precious to me, a sort of consolation that allows a feeling of superiority to the unattractive girls with Vuitton bags. And this is applied not just with myself but with my daughter as well.

But the yaya is a different story.

J is actually not a nanny, since Sandra's a bit too old for one. She's more of a house-sitter, occasional companion to Sandra, cooks a bit, cleans a bit... more like an all-around housekeeper. She's a dark, big-boned character, with facial craters from acne and with mannerisms that match a cro-magnon (she replies with a grunt 95% of the time).

Yesterday, she went a notch further by getting a really awful haircut. A spiky mullet! Que Horror! I would have paid ten times more (in my poverty-stricken state, I still would!) just so that she'd get a better one.

I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was that haircut. Yikes. I almost threw up the coffee.
Today is a moment of weakness.

My Toothless Wonder

Alright, she's not completely toothless. She lost just two of the pearly whites. But that didn't even make a dent on her charm.

It's a Sunday and I was in a shoot at Gama studios. And because Sunday should be a sacred day for family, I had Sandra picked up from the condo. She just came from her Dad's house (weekends being his time with her) and I know she would complain if she arrived home with no Mommy in sight.

She arrived, her usual bubbly self minus two teeth. This is the first time for me to see her like this, because she had her teeth extracted with her Dad just yesterday. I felt a sharp pain of regret that I wasn't the one with her during the extraction. As a mom, I felt it was my duty to hug and console her, especially since my own childhood memories of tooth extraction were traumatic ones. But for some reason, Sandra knew she had to lift that emotional burden off me.

"No Mommy, It didn't hurt, not even with the injection" -- her words of bravery

"I look like a baby, don't I?" -- obviously, this child is not too self-conscious about losing teeth

"This is free, we used the (HMO) card." -- at least, she's in touch with my financial situation

"Can Daddy keep one tooth?" -- playing Solomon and splitting herself between me and her Dad

And while other kids would shy away from getting their picture taken, she gamely posed. A proud survivor of the dentist's chair and not afraid to show it. My beautiful daughter... Yes, there is a God.

It's that time...

I've never felt so broke in my entire life.

I just paid 3 months of rent (I pay quarterly), my Meralco and water bill, 3 of my 4 credit cards and, my mobile bill. I have almost nothing in my checking account. And about P10K to survive with until next payday... ARRRGGHHH...

Sometimes I wonder when I'd get out of this rut. Or IF I get out of this. Or better yet, HOW I'd get out of this. I feel so poor, I'm grasping at anything that could ease up my life. I may have to eat salad for the rest of the year.

At least, I'd maintain my waistline.

Something to Gnaw on

Folks, this is my lunch. For health and budget reasons, I have resorted to eating like a rabbit. It's bad enough I have to eat it, what's worse is I have to start my morning chopping whatever that went in there.

That is why I was late... for a client presentation.

My account manager was fervently calling on my mobile to ask for my location while I was struggling to get a cab in this blistering Makati heat with print ads AND this salad in tow. I arrived on the 3rd slide of the powerpoint and just thanked my lucky stars that I was last on the agenda. I kicked the lunch box under my seat (nakakasira kasi ng porma, naka-Zara pa man din ako ngayon) then presented my stuff.

Now this client is known to nit-pick little details. But on that presentation, the stars must have aligned. They approved everything on the first pass, One client even said "see, I'm not that difficult!" And while I was quizzing myself on the fact why there were NO REVISIONS (so far, keeping fingers crossed) I was back to my office in less than an hour -- With my salad.

The herb vinaigrette is waayy too sour. I don't think I should have this again.
But the day sure is sweet. :-)

The First Post

DOWNSIDE: I had a mouthsore. A painful one. It's on the inside of my lower lip, and its causing me to drool when I sleep.

UPSIDE: My lips now look like Angelina Jolie's. Yeay!